


Partners in Crime

by RangerLauren



Series: Carnaberg Heck [2]
Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Bon Bon no, Cala Maria freaks out, Cinnamon roll Sally, Djimmi ships some more, F/M, Gen, He also confers with his shipping squad, Rumor is the only sane one, They all freak out really, They're not actually in this one ironically, Woah more of this ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:50:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerLauren/pseuds/RangerLauren
Summary: Enlightened by this new information, Djimmi talks with some of his helpers.





	Partners in Crime

**Author's Note:**

> W o w I actually wrote more lol  
> Hope you guys enjoyyyyy

Djimmi could see Cala Maria even from his high perch on his magic carpet. The giant mermaid was resting her forearms on the dock and laughing at an unknown joke. Sally, Rumor, and Bon Bon (who had apparently left the café before him) were sitting in a semicircle in front of her, looking tiny in comparison.

He figured they were a good group to confer with for now. He would admit, he didn't know Hilda all that well. They occasionally chatted a few times, but they never actually sat down and had a serious talk together. The other girls, however, were very close, so they would know a lot more about the sylph. He wouldn’t have to get the information out of Cagney, either.

He floated down to Cala Maria’s eye level. “Hello ladies,” he greeted, showing off his grin in a joking attempt at flirting. It was a little gag they often shared.

The girls giggled. “Hello, Djimmi!” Rumor said cheerfully. “How are you?”

“I'm doing mighty fine,” Djimmi said. His carpet touched the ground, but he remained seated.

“How was your date with _Cagney?”_ Cala teased.

Djimmi frowned. Last time he checked, the diner was much too far away for her to eavesdrop. “How did you-?”

“We told her all about it,” Sally chimed in. “Well, at least, what we knew.”

“We couldn't hear what you were talking about, but Cagney seemed pretty worked up, even for him,” Bon Bon said.

“Ah,” Djimmi hummed thoughtfully. He looked around for a familiar red-clad figure that could possibly be flying somewhere nearby. “Is Hilda here?”

Rumor shook her head. “She’s at home. Poor dear hasn't slept in days.”

“Really?” Djimmi raised an eyebrow at that. He’d never heard of that problem before. “Why?”

“It's just a habit she has,” Sally explained with a tiny sigh. 

“Usually Cagney is the one that makes her take naps on occasion, but he’s been acting weird the past couple weeks,” Cala said. 

“That’s why we were shocked to see him with you,” Rumor put in. “We figured that he just wanted to be alone. You know how summer is for him.”

A part of Djimmi squealed like a schoolgirl at the thought of Cagney and Hilda taking a catnap together. (Imagine the cuddling!) He forced himself to push the thought away before it got out of hand. He had business to attend to.

“So she’s sleeping? At home?” he asked for confirmation.

“Yep!” Cala chirped. “We locked her in so she wouldn't have a choice!”

“I threatened her with my shotgun,” Bon Bon said, looking disturbingly pleased with herself.

Djimmi tried not to think about the logic, or lack of logic, of locking someone in their own home. “Okay. That’s good.” He looked around suspiciously for any nosy passerby before leaning into the circle of women. “What I’m about to tell you is something neither Hilda nor anyone else can know, under any circumstances. Understand?”

Eager for gossip, Cala Maria sank further into the water so her chin rested on the dock. She stared at him with large eyes, slender fingers grasping the wood so hard it looked ready to splinter. “Ooh, yes yes yes! Please tell!”

The other three scooted forward, clearly interested as well.

Djimmi cleared his throat. “Today I learned that our friend Cagney has fallen pretty hard for Miss Hilda.”

While the girls processed this information, Djimmi quickly conjured up earplugs and stuck them in his ears. He also clamped his hands over them for extra support. He knew what was about to happen, and experience told him that he would need it.

Four high-pitched screams sliced through the air like sharpened knives. They even cut through the reinforced padding for his ears, making him wince at the ringing that filled his head. He didn't dare take his hands away until the screeches had long since died down.

Cala Maria was a jittery mess. “OH MY GOD, SHUT UP! YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS!” she boomed.

Djimmi stuck a finger in his ear, trying to get rid of the ringing. “Dead serious.”

Cala let out another squeal and pressed her fists to her cheeks, unable to contain herself. She actually had to step away for a minute so she wouldn't accidentally destroy the dock. She continued her freakout out in the middle of the ocean, still audible to the rest of the group on land.

Bon Bon shook her head in disbelief. “Ol’ Cags finally admitted to it!”

Sally jumped up and down, her curls bouncing like hyperactive springs. “I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life!”

“How on earth did you get it out of him?” Rumor asked incredulously.

“I didn't have to. He told me himself,” Djimmi answered. 

Bon Bon stared at him. “Seriously? No interrogating or anything?”

“Nope.”

Cala was back, a little bit calmer than before. “Wow. So, he’s not kidding around.” She grinned widely. “He really does like her.”

Rumor sighed dreamily. “I always had a feeling about those two.”

Djimmi smiled. As excitable as they were, the four shared his undying passion for love. It was nice to have someone to rant to or discuss future plans with. He also found that having helpers was great for more difficult cases, and he knew that he was going to need all the help he could get.

“So have you thought of any ideas yet?” Sally inquired.

Djimmi pulled out his cigar and lit it with his magic, taking a quick drag. “I’ve already told Cagney to meet me tomorrow for some lessons. Make sure Hilda doesn't find out, alright?”

The four nodded.

“What about date ideas?” Cala asked.

“That’s what I need help with,” Djimmi admitted. “You four know her better than I do.”

“Ooh!” Sally shifted so she was sitting on her knees and clapped her hands in excitement. “I haven't planned an actual date in so long! This is so exciting!”

Djimmi conjured up a roll of parchment and a quill, tapping the feather on the paper absentmindedly. “Well, I’m actually thinking of somewhere that kind of feels like a date, but not. Know what I mean?”

The four nodded. “Something casual,” Rumor said.

“Exactly.” Djimmi took another drag of his pipe.

“Well, Hilda isn't a very…” Cala searched for the word, “...exaggerated person.”

“She doesn't like fancy things,” Bon Bon added.

Djimmi nodded, scribbling it down. That worked out well; he knew Cagney wasn't a fan of anything over-the-top either. There wouldn't be any conflict with possible future dates, either. “Any hobbies?”

Sally answered immediately. “She stargazes almost every night, depending on the weather.”

“Any particular spot she likes to go to?” Djimmi inquired further.

“Usually it's the roof of her observatory,” Cala said. “But, she sometimes goes to that large hill over by the Root Pack farm. You know, the one near the lake?”

Djimmi nodded. He knew of the place well, as it was a nice, relaxing spot at night. He and few other residents often went there to unwind when life became too overbearing. There were a few areas like that around the isle preserved specifically for that purpose.

“Sometimes Cagney joins her,” Rumor said.

Djimmi raised an eyebrow, surprised. He most certainly didn't know _that._ “Really?” 

“Mhmm,” hummed Cala. She smiled deviously. “We may or may not have watched them a couple times.”

“And it was really cute!” Sally squealed.

Djimmi made sure to write that down. “Didn't know that,” he remarked.

“Well, I wouldn't think so,” said Bon Bon, crossing her arms. “Cagney’s a damn pansy when it comes to emotions.”

“Bon,” Sally scolded lightly. “Be nice.”

The Baroness scowled. “What? It’s true.”

“I wouldn't say he’s a pansy,” Djimmi chimed in. “He’s just a little…” he tried to think of a polite way to say it, “...reluctant to share what's on his mind.”

Cala giggled. “Aww, was he all embarrassed and tongue-tied?”

“Somewhat,” the genie said. “Okay, I’m going to need a lot of information. Hit me.”

They chatted for a long while, the girls listing off an assortment of facts about Hilda: what she liked, her personality, things like that. Djimmi felt a tad stalker-like when asking the questions, but it was necessary if he wanted to help Cagney. He wrote them all down, attempting to compile them into an organized list without much success. The parchment was filled with arrows and brackets and chicken scratch, but it was still somewhat readable, at least to him.

There was also a small section for things about Cagney he hadn't been aware of. He knew Hilda and the carnation were friends, but he didn't know of the true extent of their relationship. They did a lot more together than he originally thought: stargazing, spring gardening, the occasional spar or prank collaboration, the list went on. The two were even more compatible than he thought.

“Have you got a plan, Djimmi?” Rumor asked, watching him read through his notes.

The genie pursed his lips, nodding. “I believe so.” He pointed at Sally with his quill. “You’re a good liar, right? Ask her the forecast for the next two weeks or so. Make it subtle.”

Sally saluted. “Got it. When do you want it?”

“Preferably by tomorrow morning.” Djimmi addressed Rumor and Bon Bon next. “You two. Keep Cala under wraps, especially tomorrow.”

“Hey!” the mermaid protested.

“Sorry, Cala,” Bon Bon said, not sounding sorry at all, “but you are the most likely to spill the beans out of all of us.”

Cala Maria sighed, flipping her tentacle hair. “Fair point.” She gave him her best doe-eyed look. “Can't I at least congratulate Cagney?”

Djimmi shook his head, unfazed at her attempt. The last thing he needed was for Cagney to be angry at him. “Nope.”

“You weren’t supposed to tell us, were you?” Bon Bon asked, smirking knowingly.

“Hey,” Djimmi protested with a half-hearted glare. “I crossed my fingers, so I can say whatever I please. He just…doesn't know I did.”

“We’ll do our best,” Rumor promised.

Djimmi accepted the answer. He rolled up his parchment and stuck it in his pocket, followed by his quill. He tapped his fingers as ideas flew around in his head like mad.

“What are you thinking?” Cala asked excitedly.

Djimmi smirked. “I’m thinking…”

The ladies simultaneously leaned in. The genie waggled his fingers. “A peaceful evening by the lake...”

The others scooted in even closer, eyes shining.

“A nice, light meal…”

Cala giggled uncontrollably.

“Underneath the stars…”

Sally tugged on her curls, biting her lip.

“Just the two of them.”

“And us in the bushes?” Bon Bon added, her intense stare fixed on him.

Djimmi chuckled. “And us in the bushes. But, we’re only going to interfere if we need to, okay?”

Cala squealed again, nearly making everyone’s ears ring. “AAAH! IT’S GOING TO BE SO CUTE!”

“Calm down up there, or you’ll explode!” Bon Bon exclaimed.

“I think she already has at this rate,” Sally remarked, watching their friend freak out once more.

Rumor laid a hand on Djimmi’s shoulder. “What you said sounds wonderful,” she said.

Djimmi smiled at her. “If the weather prevails, all I need is for Cagney to agree to it.”

“I'm sure he will,” reassured the bee.

Djimmi hoped she was right. The date wasn't anything overwhelming or fancy. The problem was that, no matter how casual it was in the surface, it was still a date. Cagney wanted to shut down at the mere prospect of a relationship. It was going to take a lot of confidence building to get him to agree. Luckily, Djimmi was a master.

He said goodbye to the women and flew home, looking over his notes while tugging occasionally on his carpet to change direction. He skimmed it over and over as his mind formulated a plan. It would be a tight squeeze during the next week or so, but it could work.

No, it would work. He was going to get Cagney and Hilda together, even if it took all of his time.


End file.
